During this fight you will see Slaanesh models switch to Dark Angels. The player had to leave for an emergency but didn’t want the game to stop. Everything seems to have turned out okay thankfully! We are just going to blame this model switch on Tzeentch like usual.
At a remote shrine on Valour VIII, the Cadian Shock restlessly await Catachan reinforcements. They have been under scouting and harassing efforts from Chaos for a solar week and are preparing for the inevitable assault on the hallowed ground. Eventually, and not a moment too soon, a regiment roughly matching the description of rugged Catachan Veterans that are on the way show up.
Their kit is not standard, but they knew that was normal. For near abhumans, they seemed quite primitive. Overly muscled, thick low gothic accents, and seemed far to eager to get “The big red one that got ol’ Bale Eye!” Before one of the Lord Commissars gets a chance to start asking questions about “where are your standard issued lasguns” and “whose Gork and whose Mork”, Chaos makes its move!
Formerly decimated at Refining Facility 057, Nurgle is out of the fight! However, the World Eaters have scrapped together a fresh set of recruits and even managed to summon Ka’Bandha himself! The Emperor’s Children have brought a serious amount of heavy support in terms of Noise Marines!
Imperial Objectives:
1 Supply Stockpile: Essential for the counterattack, this large shipment is to be protected at all costs!
2 Holy Statue: The icon of this shrine, former marine Rainer On’tiego is immortalized for his final deeds nearly two millennia ago defending this backwater world. No doubt exaggerated, his legacy is invaluable to morale on this planet.
3 Munition Pile: A heavily fortified line, it has been extended and supplied with ample munitions to keep the shrine safe!
4 Wounded Saint: A badly wounded saint from the last Chaos raid is in stasis. He was set to be evacuated but the landing pad was overrun! Take it back!
5 Special Delivery: An unknown package came for the Imperial General, but the local post service was abandoned as they took up defensive positions moments ago. Take it back!
6 Psychic Visions: An imperial astropath just had a major, crusade altering vision but was nearly killed by the experience! He is in stasis until the Inquisition can arrive and do whatever it is they do with psykers and questionable information.
Ork Objectives:
1 Supply Stockpile: MORE DAKKA!
2 Shiny Statue: The Warboss fancies ‘imself dis shiny ding!
3 Munition Pile: MORE DAKKA!
4 Squig Food: The ‘umies were kind enough to save some leftovers for der squigs!
5 Special Delivery: PROBABLY DAKKA! Or at least shiny.
6 Grot Food: Small and bony, its not even fit for da squigs! Feed ’em to da Grots!
World Eaters Objectives:
1 Supply Stockpile: Useful for establishing a better foothold in Valour System!
2 Holy Statue: Desecrate the holy ground!
3 Munition Pile: Useful for prolonged combat in this system, even if its not as honorable.
4 Wounded Saint: Slay the false believer!
5 Special Delivery: Destroy the enemy asset!
6 Psychic Visions: Kill the witch!
Emperor’s Children Objectives:
1 Supply Stockpile: Useful for establishing a better foothold in Valour System!
2 Holy Statue: Desecrate the statue. Profanely.
3 Munition Pile: Useful for prolonged combat in this system.
4 Wounded Saint: Corrupt the saint!
5 Special Delivery: Slaanesh just really has to know what it is. Find out!
6 Psychic Visions: Planted visions to fool the Imperium! Pretend to “fail to capture the stasis” generator so they can find out and believe they earned the victory and its secrets.
In this scenario, 2500 points of Imperial Guard and 2500 points of Bad Moons are holding out against 2750 points of World Eaters and 2750 points of Emperor’s Children. The terrain has been slightly modified to favor the defense force, resulting in a minor point increase. This also allowed for us to get more Emperor’s Children models on the field to begin testing the new releases for our Alternate 40k Rules adaptation!
I was requested by my teammate (Dad) to bring mass infantry support. So I did! I brought my Cadian’s Heavy Weapons Platoon Bravo and Assault Platoon Alpha with a slight modification to fit in the points. I deployed ahead of game day to save everyone waiting on me. This prompted the micro attack and defend.
I didn’t get everyone’s deployment picture. I got too excited! Orks deployed Meganobz with 4 characters in the fortified line, a group of Ork boyz in by the statue, and another on the left flank we planned on pushing hard as possible while the middle and right held firm. A full unit of ten Killa Kanz deployed near the middle.
Khorne and Slaanesh forces mixed fairly evenly. Our left flank had a unit of Noise Marines screened by a small unit of Chaos Marines with the Mark of Slaanesh and a Khorne Rhino with a unit of Jakhals, Skull Crusher, and a Herald of Khorne. The middle had Ka’Bandha himself with a mix of forces ranging from Noise Marines and another Jakhal unit with a Rogue Psyker. Two Skull Cannon chariots also formed a firing line. Our right flank had, you guessed, more Noise Marines and another unit of Slaanesh Chaos Marines. In reserve was a unit of Blood Crushers.
Seizing the initiative of the moment, Chaos struck first! They fired a fusillade of sonic weapons into the defenders. The cover of night did not matter. No fortification could protect them from the concussive barrage! Vulnerable Lascannon teams were pounded into a pulp before they even had a chance to fire! Screaming skulls of fire landed amongst the troops, finishing them quickly. The Meganobz began taking heavy fire, but thanks to their high character support and good saves were able to shrug the blows.
Under the cover of the Pinning barrage, the counter flank maneuver begins!
Da Orks retaliate! Da big finky one, you know, da weird one dat does weird dings, summons Gork to step on dem pesky Noise Marines! But instead, dat stupid git summoned Mork, who was pissed off at being called Gork. So he ended up crumpin’ da Mega Nobz instead!
He didn’ entirely waste ‘is ‘ittle brain powa, he was still a bit cunnin’ and Da Jumped da Grots and their little Killa Kans to go get da Red One and see if he was dangerous or not. Turns out, that when the ‘ittle ‘umies bring lots of big dakka guns for killin’ tanks, and da Bad Moons wif all their shiny bits and best dakka pieces in the galaxy join fire, even da big red one is going to get crumped! He survived for now, but he’s lookin’ pretty shot up!
While the filthy greenskins were hammering away and yelling “Waaah” or whatever it is they do in their past time, us Imperial Guardsmen were coordinating fire on the biggest demon we had ever seen! Heavy Weapons Platoon Bravo is a dedicated tank hunting platoon, meaning we brought 18 Lascannons to the field amongst our units. Combined with the crude Ork weapons, we nearly got him in the first volley!
While Chaos was distracted by the steady barrage of fire, Assault Platoon Alpha moved up in force! With a borrowed Chimera from the Heavy Weapon Platoon, they moved up providing supporting fire from both Chimeras, taking their time as the infantry pushed hard. Las fire poured in mass, slowly picking of the chaos marine screen. A lucky burst from the Multilaser punched a hole in the engine block of the Chaos Rhino, ensuring it was not going to be going anywhere unexpected.
With its engine grinding in a horrible way, the Rhino slewed to its right and lurched to a rough halt. The Jakhals and their daemon overlords jumped out, using it as cover while they assembled to join the fight! The Hellbrute stomped forwards, ready to draw some fire and burn some loyalists.
Once again, the Noise Marines fired their devastating weaponry. Heavy weaponry concentrated fire on the highly resistant Mega Nobs, while the lighter weapon focused on the approaching guardsmen. Sonic weaponry passed right through solid cover, hammering honest to Emperor soldiers into oblivion.
A ravaged squad of Chaos Marines sighted upon the ones that had been causing so much damage! A particular squad of ordinary guardsmen were well on their way to being Veterans. Already they had taken out multiple marines with naught but simple lasguns and their standard issue adamantine balls. Firing pistols and tossing a frag, they were only able to get two of them as they held their ground! Ready to crush this defiance, the marines charged!
The Slaanesh Champion issued a Challenge. The guardsmen sergeant drew his Chainsword and accepted! While the instant death of the Sergeant was not a surprise to those outside the combat, the fact that the rest of the squad ganged up on and slaughtered the remaining two marines in hand to hand combat is no small feat! In fact, despite the gruesome display of the Challenge, they held their ground WITHOUT EVEN A COMMISSAR TO SCARE THEM!
The Hellbrute was not going to miss out on the fun! After barbequing five guardsmen, he stomped in and started smashing one of the units. It completely whiffed, tripping face first on the wreckage and did no damage! They held the line, keeping it busy so the others could push forward and overwhelm the distracted Noise Marines.
Ka’Bandha and a unit of Reserved Blood Crushers smashed into the Killa Kanz! Six were completely destroyed! Chaos hardly suffered any damage in return. As the Grots fled in fear, one them wrapped his Killa Kan around Ka’Bandha’s leg because he ran into him so far, leaving only three left! (In Alternate 40k Rules there is collision damage for Vehicles and Monsters as they flee. It goes both ways, Ka’Bandha was not harmed).
A unit of Chaos Marines on the other flank moved into finish off the Ork Boyz! They shot and stabbed them, forcing them to fall back!
The guardsmen pushed onwards, moving around the melees and continued to pour fire into the chaos forces as they closed in. Using numerical superiority (and apparently excellent training with my rolls) they closed the distance rapidly!
Getting right on top of them, a flamer maneuvered around the Rhino and flamed the squad while his sarge fragged them. Sporadic las fire saw them reduce the squad to cinders and nearly kill both of their daemonic leaders! One of them looked like he had plot armour. Skulltaker or whatever they called him. More like Beatingtaker if you ask the guardsmen!
Dis time, dat stupid git got da right god and they crumped ’em a wee bit!
And we got da big red one! ‘course, we got told afta da fight dat dat wasn’t da right one, so I guess we’re still lookin’ for da one dat got ol’ Bale Eye. We put missin’ adds on da Grot juice boxes, but dey ain’t seen ‘im yet!
Seein’ hows da ‘umies were fightin’ we rallied da Boyz on da lef… da right…. da…. da one side and shot up da spikey boys! Course it just seemed to piss ’em off, but we gots one of dem!
We saw dat the ‘umies were havin’ a ‘ard time bustin’ up dat battle walker, so we charged in to show ’em how it was done!
Alright boyz we’re outta ‘ere! Da dumb git in charge just failed to hit the fing we want ta loot and den like half of us got crumped! And den for no reason whatsoeve’, dat ‘umie with the cool hat shot one of us yelling “Get back here you lousy Catachans!” What da heck is a Catachan? (We determined, per wording, that if allies can share Auras, then the Commissars ability that MUST activate would apply to these so called Catachans. Not every day an Ork is executed for cowardice!).
While holding of the Hellbrute heroically, what we thought were extra primitive Catachans showed up, died, and ran off. One was executed for cowardice, but the others just started running even harder. It was at that point the commissar started suspecting these were not Catachans.
Afta shootin’ one ta def we decided we outta get ’em too! But da dumb gitz didn’ make it!
The flanking assault had been brutal, but we made it to close range! A heavily injured squad was still on point, moving up, they doused them with burning promethium, a frag, and las fire, but had little effect. Chimera fire support was able to help get some damage on the squad, but their Lord Exultant soaked it up.
At this point, Lascannon fire was being sent into Noise Marines as there was not any good targets, and the marines were taking a toll on the Mega Nobz.
Despite brutal fire, a significant number of Lascannon teams remained! The Chaos flanked in, mowing down another team with their pistols and Charged!
They entered Melee, slaughtering the frontline Guardsmen! Most of them died.
A particularly pissed Commissar drew his power sword and simply hacked two of the marines down, leaving only the Champion, whom he injured as well!
The Herald of Khorne and Beatingtaker charged the leading squad further over on the flank! The heavily injured Herald was burned by fire as it came in, dying in a wail of anger. Beatingtaker made it.
Turns out, Skulltaker is an appropriate name! He slaughtered the unit and drank deeply from their blood, healing himself!
The lone champion had won combat against those guardsmen, making them fall back. He decided he wanted to capture their flag instead of pursue them, and charged the Platoon Command Squad! Surviving the pistols during Overwatch, he made it into battle. He was unable to harm them permanently thanks to some fantastic combat stimulants the medic gave out, but they would probably need therapy later!
The Command Squad collapsed in on him, with Sergeant Bastonne scoring a wounding blow against the Champion! He held is ground and the fight continued!
The fight with the Hellbrute continued, Chainsword and Power Sword being deflected by the Daemonic presence inhabiting the angry combat walker.
Taking several blows, the Commissar saved a few guardsmen lives! The combat stimulants given to her from the Command Squad had her doped up to her eyeballs, but she wasn’t feeling a thing except how high The Emperor is! They held their ground and kept the monstrosity distracted so the flank could succeed at all cost, even their own!
The Noise Marines getting flamed, turned and burnt most of the squad to a crisp in return! They otherwise ignored the pesky small arms and continued hammering the Mega Nobz.
As the “Catachans” continued to retreat, the Commissar thought it best to execute another one for not rallying. In the event it was actually an Ork, it needed to be executed. If it was a retreating Catachan, it needed to be executed. They still refused to rally and ran off the field.
The Noise Marines had assumed the small arms incapable of harming them. Where one Flamer is an annoyance to a super human in power armour, seven, a bunch of frags, and a ton of las fire is another story! The first Chimera pulled up, depositing the two Special Weapon Squads equipped with Flamers. There were no survivors. In fact, the Jakhals that had been hiding behind them got caught in the fire too! They, their Rogued Psyker, and their book bearer were burned to cinders. Only the book bearer was left alive. Why you would chain an important book to a follower and pin his arms is beyond the comprehension of a simple guardsmen, but watching him roll around on the ground while him and his precious book were on fire (and screaming, including the book) brought a tear of joy to many guardsmen eyes.
The second Chimera deposited its Veterans and Lord Commissar (and Warlord, the other one was in the cathedral, but no proper Warlord leads from the rear!). While the Chimera assisted in the destruction of the lower Noise Marines, they popped up and heavily engaged the flank ones. Despite rocking in with shotguns, three Plasma Guns, Plasma Pistol, Bolt Pistol, and frags they were only able to inflict moderate damage.
The fight with the Hellbrute was taking its toll. Despite the best drugs in the Imperium, the squad was finished off finally and only a woozy Commissar remained! She still held her ground and refused to fall back!
Da Boss was tired of gettin’ shot at by a better boom box den we’s had, so we had been marchin’ up da field for a propa fight when we finally caught da Blood Crushas! We smashed ’em up good! (They rolled HORRIBLY). Dey tried ta fight back, but we’s only got a scratch! (More, terrible rolls). They started to blink out of existance or somefing like dat, but they kept on fightin’ at least!
Da Grots got back inta da fight finally, and they managed to at least saw one of dem chariots of ders inta a bloody mess!
The Noise Marines on the assaulted flank returned fire! Two of their heavy weapons, the Champion’s Blast Master, and a frag annihilated the fine men. Only the Sarge and a barely alive Lord Commissar remained! He threw himself on the grenade, hoping his Carapace Armour would help, but it did not do as well as he had hoped!
With their Chaos gods screaming for “The blood of at least one of the Warlords you incompetent fools!”, they fired their last Skull Cannon from across the field. The tower perfectly hid the injured Lord Commissar from view, so the hope was that the wind would blow the round in the right direction. A rivet would help it ricochet, or Nurgle would produce powerful flatulence. Anything, but instead it blew up against the armoured panel, failing to even wound the Sergeant!
The Commissar was seriously injured with his squad against a fantastic attack, but dealt a killing blow to the Chaos Champion. He resumed his duties by joining the adjacent squad who hoped they faired better than the last one!
The Rhino charged the Chimera! It smashed it hard enough, that it rammed the building and jammed the Heavy Bolter into the Hull, destroying it! During the Overwatch though, the Multilaser punched through the driver’s view port and killed him. The replacement was not as skilled, and combined with the grinding engine it was barely able to pull the stunt off!
Da Killa Kanz kept slashin’ with only mild success, but they were slowly wearing down the angry chariot of rage and blood! Good for dem, da gobbos need a treat now an’ den.
Da fight ended pretty nasty for da Blood Crushas, but they took one of us out wit ‘im!
The Commissar was slain. After having endured five rounds of Melee with the Hellbrute, her and her squad’s sacrifice had paid off. The entire flanking maneuver had pulled off. Not only had they secured the flank, they swept forward and wiped out half of the middle as well, letting the Mega Nobz push forward and seize the field!
Afta we had chopped up da Blood Crushas, we started headin’ to da Cargo Pad to get da spikey boyz hiding out on top!
Guardsmen moved in support after Da Jump failed so badly that the weird boy blew himself up! They were not saddened to avoid a xenos magic carpet ride.
The Noise Marines survived various supporting fire from outside the platform. The Sergeant and the Lord Commissar were unable to finish off the Champion! Looking like he was going to foolishly charge into Melee (and give the enemy d3 victory points for their current Objective to slay the Warlord), the Veteran Snipers in the Church grudgingly shifted fire and picked him off! (They were with the other Lord Commissar, it would have looked really bad and probably been an execution).
Splitting up further, one special weapon team took the front while the other took the back with a Chimera. The Chimera burnt the burning book man to a crisp and put him out of his hilariously bad situation.
Da Warboss decided he would show da Grots how it was propa done! He got himself bit in the leg and slashed in da face for all ‘is trouble! He didn’ even finish off da beastie!
While da Warboss was rightly messin’ around, we got to business and finished off da spikey boyz that had been hidin’ up der all battle for some reason. Had some scrawny git in a water tank. Dem spikey boyz are weird, wasn’t even enough meat on ‘is bones to feed a grot!
Cadian Shock and Bad Moons win a Moderate Victory, 11 – 7! This game was really close. Had Chaos not taken Initiative to fire first (a solid move given the amount of guns that ignored Cover) and the rate we both scored points they could have potentially won. Also, had they managed to get the Lord Commissar at the end it could have been a draw very easily. Or the Hellbrute get freed up earlier like expected. It was a very close game and could have swung either way from the first dice rolls to the very last rolls.
This was to test and verify new and exiting Slaanesh datasheets. We are refining (stay tuned for details!) and will be testing additional shortly. I personally am very excited to be able to get my hands on a spare copy of the Codex so I can scour it for lore tid bits and bring the models to life in a thematic way!
After Action Debriefing
Lord Commissar (Warlord): Victory was achieved thanks to these Catachan Devils showing up at the last second.
Ork Warboss: Dats right mista uh… fancy hat.
audible pause as the Inquisitor looks inquisitively at the Lord Commissar for ANY trace of emotion or expression.
Lord Inquisitor: You… think? They are…. Catachan.
Lord Commissar: Yes.
Lord Inquisitor: Catachan, where is the Holy Throne located?
Ork Warboss: Wait ders a throne?! Where?!
Lord Inquisitor: *sighs and rubs eyes tiredly. While he is distracted, the Lord Commissar gives the Warboss a wink.*
Lord Inquisitor: Consorting with Green skins in Valour System is prohibited by code H185968-B, including pirates like Freebooterz-
Ork Warboss: We got shinier bits den those gitz!
Lord Commissar: That is correct, but as these are definitely CATACHAN DEVILS, says there on the file. The Administratum provided a DETAILED description. Large for a man, muscled, gruff, likes to paint themselves in green camo, primitive dialect, even for a normal feral worlder.
Lord Inquisitor: The Administratum messed up and you know it!
Lord Commissar: But that would take Terran years to sort out and you know it. Besides, all these CATACHAN DEVILS want was one of their hats and us to tell them if we see any big red guys running around.
long, audible pause.
Lord Inquisitor: You want me to put- he glances at the definitely not human crunched into the office chair- Catachan Warband on our payroll?
Lord Commissar: It would be advantageous for us both. And we, unfortunately, owe partial victory to them.
more sighs, eye rubs, and a shot from a flask.
Fine, what hat did they want?
***************************
Last seen, the “Catachan Devil was waddling away with a neat little Inquisitor hat on his shoulder pauldron and an office chair more or less permanently stuck on his rear. Bad Moons as allies? Weirder things have happened.
Alternate 40k Rules 