Do to a pact with Tzeentch, the Emperor’s Children were able to infiltrate Valour VIII disguised as the Dark Angels operating in the system. Tzeentch, finicky as ever, chose a rather horrible moment to reveal them before the Custodes during a routing security sweep. The Orks who had been planning on looting them some golden boyz thingies saw Warboss Charr’s prize squig being punched over and over again by Lucius the Eternal. Enraged, they joined some very surprised Custodes!
We were doing a final stress test of the Chaos Codexes and supplements and did not own the proper models. Warp trickery at its finest.
The Custodes were scattered out on key locations from their routine inspection, doubly surprised at the arrival of the Orks, Chaos, and Orks yelling something about them to “get their golden git selves into a nice spot of cover!” The Orks came roaring in on 3 Battle Wagons. Each one had been splashed in Red Paint and had their Turbos revving at full rpm. One of their drivers mistook a power pole for an Icon of Chaos bearer and killed the power grid in the abandoned warehouse, plunging the opening battle sequence into utter darkness!
In turn, Lucius Eternal was well on his way to a close quarters ambush when they had been spotted. He brought his Noise Marines into a blind spot behind a fortified wall and prepared to move. On his left, Shalaxi Helbane boldly moved with swift strides towards the Custode Captain on his Dawneagle Jetbike. On the right, some deranged Cultists revved their chain weapons and prepared to surge forward with bloody intent. Passed them roared Doomrider, cackling wildly as he left a trail of madness and fire behind him.
A full unit of Daemonettes waited in Reserves, already part of the ambushing plan that was going to happen. They were lead by a Chaos Marine Icon Bearer and The Masque of Slaanesh for a brutal arrival.
The Orks rolled their Battle Wagons into a lumbering firing line, inviting the forces of Slaanesh to come into the kill zone where they could be bogged down by the Custodes and cut to ribbons. With few clear targets, they began pounding the walls with rockets, shells, and bullets. They heavily damaged one section, but with it being near pitch black they had a hard time hitting critical weak points and failed to collapse it or expose the Noise Marines. They were able to explode some of the Cultists thought.
The Custode Captain fired two rockets at Shalaxi, but one missed and they other was foiled by a poor hit.
Shalaxi moved up point blank to the Dawneagle riding Captain, throwing a harrowing cloud over his mind with its magic. Moments later, Shalaxi psychically attacked the Captain but failed to damage his mind despite his penalties. He threw out a burst of speed with more magic, twisting the fabric of reality and letting the Noise Marines seemingly move faster than possible as they transcended time and space temporarily! Lastly, Shalaxi invigorated the Noise Marines further to grant them more attacks.
Bolstered by this dark power, the Noise marines were able to fully clear the wall and blast powerful sonic attacks into the Captain. Despite being heavily endangered, he managed to shrug off most of the damage! Undaunted, they charged into the closest Battle Wagon. A marine was cut down from the Overwatch, but they were able to pile onto it. Punching and pulling at armour panels with power armour enhanced strength, they were able to deal damage to the massive tank. Lucius was able to cut a gouge with his power sword as well. Another marine was crushed underneath the massive Deff Rolla, but it was overwhelmed by the ferocity of the attack and began to retreat. The Noise Marines followed it, surrounding it even further.
Shalaxi Charged the Captain, cutting him with one of his strikes. Matching it with skill known by few in the galaxy, the Captain met Shalaxi in mid charge with a thunderous crash! The Counterattack let him give a light injury to Shalaxi in return. Despite the overwhelming attack, the Captain held his ground.
As the Cultists Advanced forward at best possible speed, Doomrider blew past them in a trail of fire and shrieking souls. He closed to point blank range with a Battle Wagon and gave it two perfectly placed melta shots. The left track drive shaft melted and fused into block of unmoving metal while the other one crippled the transmission! Barely able to move, the Battle Wagon was belching smoke and causing shrieking metal to fill the air every time it tried to drag itself through the warehouse. The sound delighted the Noise Marines to no end. Always seeking more speed, he pushed his bike further, charging into the Battle Wagon! He gouged its armour with his Power Sword, but was nearly killed by the Overwatch fire. While dodging it, he got his bike sucked under the Deff Rolla. Being a stout daemonically gifted demigod protected by a forcefield, he was not immediately killed. He was spat out the back end of the Battle Wagon and began making a run for it. The Battle Wagon held its ground and resumed its roll as an artillery support.
As the emergency lighting came on, the Battle Wagons on the right resumed their positions and began firing into the wall section finishing it off and obliterating the Cultists with more incredibly precise shots. In turn, the Custodes continued to miss a lot of shots they should not have, suggesting the Orks had looted their accuracy. They cut Doomrider down with Rockets and machine gun fire. His fiery demise into the Warp as he got bored of the fight left him trying to out run a rocket now tainted by the warp, just to see if he could do it!
Shalaxi was charged by two Custode Guards as well, bringing a high volume of attacks against him. The fight continued, with amazing acts of defense on both sides! The Captain took another cut, as did Shalaxi.
The Battle Wagon being hampered by the Noise Marines continued to have its panels bent and pieces torn off by the marines. The Champion got behind it with a Powerfist and broke one of the Big Shootas by going through the wall and removing the gunner with the weapon. The Battle Wagon crushed another two marines, but was forced back again. Once again, they caught up to it!
With Doomrider and the Cultists gone, the right flank was weakened. To secure his flank, Lucius summoned the Daemonettes. They spread out quickly, trying to avoid the incoming fire. They needed to secure the position and there was no better suited summoning area at the time.
Shalaxi continued his fight, wounding the Captain. Once again, the Captain resisted the temptations of warp and fought back with his comrades. Despite their tenacity they were not able to land any wounding blows on Shalaxi this time. They held their ground anyways and fought on. Shalaxi once again bolstered the attacks of the Noise Marines.
Lucius and his marines continued planting Krak Grenades on the back of the Battle Wagon where possible, but none of them were exploding correctly. A user manual was consulted by a frustrated Lucius who was looking at half a dozen or so armed grenades while the Champion punched two more holes into the tank. Crippled but not defeated, it crushed another marine underneath hits Deff Rolla. As it tried to escape, another marine learned what it was like to be in a juicer. Lucius and the Noise Marines kept pace easily and prepared more Krak Grenades.
The Battle Wagons got orders to flank and fire on the Daemonettes in their kill zone. Such a large unit was easy prey for their big guns they said. It would be messy, they said. The big cannons, mortars, and grenade throwers did only a kill each. The rockets being packed by the boyz was insanely accurate as well, but they were only able to kill one. Heavy amounts of shoota variants where used and some more Daemonettes were cut down. Their sudden arrival by blinding warp light and swirling daemonic smoke made it hard to get clear shots on them.
Finally, the Captain was cut down in battle by Shalaxi. It was seriously over kill, but he was finally gone. The other two Guard pressed their attack! They held their ground and determined the only good Daemon was a dead Daemon. They were still working on the dead part though.
With more undetonated blinking Krak Grenades clamped to it, the Battle Wagon got very lucky when the Sergeant slipped on a banana peel an Ork crew threw at him. While one very solid punch through the armour happened, the tank survived. Mostly. An ammo grot was hilariously yeeted an incredible distance. Lucius was now on page 8 of “Why Krak Grenade No Boom” and having no luck. (Seriously, like how hard is it to roll a 5+ by now?). The Battle Wagon retreated a very short distance and was easily caught.
Another series of melee strikes saw one of the Guards get lightly injured by Shalaxi and do the same in return. Both sides were incredibly hard to kill!
The Daemonettes were charged by both Battle Wagons and two Custode Guards. They suffered some rends to their armour but were able to crush more than expected with their Deff Rollas! The Masque of Slaanesh wanted to revel in these pains by stealing them from the others and got exactly what he hoped for when he stepped in front of one of the Deff Rollas. Barely alive once it finished rolling back and forth over him several times, he never did that again for the rest of the battle. The Tanks fell back, but the fight with the Guards continued. One was cut down where he stood. They in turn fell a fair number of Daemonettes, leaving their numbers low.
Lucius planted another grenade. Watched its gentle red light flash for a moment, and then turned back to page 4 of Why Krak Grenade No Boom. The Champion had a hard time getting back on his feet for some reason and in a fit of insolence was only able to slap the bumper with his Powerfist, failing to destroy the Battle Wagon yet again. Once again, it crept backwards and they stayed with it.
Shalaxi injured the next Guard and was injured in turn. He burned himself on too much drawn power from the warp twice in a row, but kept the forces of Slaanesh at maximum power still.
The Daemonettes cut down the second Guard before he could react. Fully blessed by their patron, they were blinding fast! The tanks saw more damage appear as they were rent to pieces, but they kept crushing more underneath their massive Rollas.
The Orks in the Battle Wagon under constant siege jumped out of the top and landed into the brawl with a Waaagh! Moments later, most of them were dead and the rest fell back and left the battlefield. The Custode Guard charged and did a fair number of injuries on the Noise Marines, killing all but the Champion and Lucius. The Champion rammed his Powerfist into the Deff Rolla, causing its housing to break and fold into itself. In return he was slain by its momentum. Lucius was Challenged by the Ork Boss and dispatched him without looking. He was now on the section of Warp Tainted Krak Grenades: Are they defective? and did not have time for that nonsense. He began to retreat as the sole survivor in case the Guard came for him next.
Shalaxi nearly killed the second Guard, but he refused to die and have his soul eaten or whatever. Shalaxi was looking worse for wear, leaking immaterium from numerous spots but had not dematerialized completely yet.
The Daemonettes continued to consolidate and fight. The Icon Bearer attempted to intervene on some light attacks from the Orks joining the fray and was nearly slain for his efforts. Many Orks were slain and more damage done to the tanks, but the losses were mounting on the Daemon’s side.
The Guard came up behind Lucius and Charged him! Lucius tried to defend himself, but he was far too injured and could not get through the Storm Shield the Guard was carrying. He was cut down with a cry of a thousand vengeances sounding from his armour.
Shalaxi and the guard took a breather, neither hurting each other.
Mek Boss Buzzgob joined the fray with his boyz. They charged in and took losses, but finished off the Daemonettes and their leadership. In a dual, Buzzgob was injured moderately by the Icon Bearer’s Daemonic Blade but killed him in return.
Shalaxi nearly killed the Guard but not quite finish him. He held his defense well and was not injured further.
Buzzgob got the last of his boyz together and started rumbling his Battle Wagons towards Shalaxi, waiting on the golden git to get what was comin’ to ‘im.
Shalaxi cut down the last Guard. It took a moment to catch its bearings when it heard a loud rumbling sound, blaring fog horns, and was blinded by high beams. A moment later he was wondering why he was back in the warp and why it felt like he had been steam rolled by an extra angry steam roller.
Custodes and Orks win 13 to 6! This was not a balanced Chaos list by any means. This was the last in our stress tests and I wanted to make sure the awesome melee power of obliterating Combat Resolution tests for the Emperor’s Children was not broken if taken to the max.
Custodes strongly held the game by scoring many Objective Points and playing a defensive roll. We are looking at tweaking them now that we have come such a long ways with the codex development for final drafts. We want them to be like they are in lore as much as possible. Stay tuned for possible improvements! We will test these first and see if our concepts are even possible.
Orks carried the bulk of the fighting. By bringing such a heavy mechanized infantry list they were able to draw out the game and bleed the 3 death balls I built over the course of several turns with minimum risk to themselves.
Slaanesh units continue to be incredibly awesome as high speed melee units. With their Counterattack they can threaten any melee army. With their initiative bonuses and possible Fleet rule from the Pure Blessing of Slaanesh upgrade, they can be incredibly fast on the field and cover open ground quickly. Their spells are solid and hinder enemy forces. Doomrider was hilarious but satisfying for his points. Shalaxi was a powerful force to deal with like in lore. Lucius failed to possess the Custode that killed him at the end of the battle, but kept a lot of units at bay because of his legendary Challenge abilities. The Masque of Slaanesh was incredibly useful and spreading auras and keeping them in the fight.
Alternate 40k Rules 