The Praetorian Guard heard the Eldar flavor of xenos were messing around their old ruins. Jolly well offended that the buggers were hanging out around their old fort, they settled in for the attack.
The Praetorian guard assembled rapidly as the Eldar approached. A Wave Serpent came in, carrying a bunch of Fire Dragons and something the servo probe called a “Pheonix Lord”. A unit of Falcons also arrived carrying a few more. Some Storm Guardians and Dire Avengers came up a flank each as well. Per the last scan, a unit of Striking Scorpions with their “Pheonix Lord” were lurking around somewhere.
Assured in their thinking that Pheonix Lord was their version of a house cat thanks to some guardsmen named Dave (damnit Dave!) thinking he knew about the birds and the bees and things the Inquisition does not want you to know, they settled in for a proper battle.
A proper battle, as you know, cannot be performed without a proper battle line. bugles bugled out their officer’s commands as they formed the Praetorians into position. A pair of Heavy Weapon Squads setup on top of the wall with a Platoon Command Squad setup in between them with their trusty Lascannon.
Four squads of guardsmen and a Veteran Squad setup to form a nice, disciplined line across the battle front, ready to move forward and sweep the enemy. Two small units of Ogryn with their shiny new gear assisted on the left flank.
Sir Mulch-A-Lot makes its debut again! Known for turning the enemies of the Emperor into mulch, it had already seen a varied diet that included several flavors of Chaos, Tyranid, Necrons, Orks, Custodes (though we don’t talk about that one), Space Marine (it’s a sore subject), Dark Eldar, Genestealer Cult, and a nibble of Tau. Its rotary cannons spun up with excitement upon seeing fresh mulch for the mu- Emperor.
Escorting the other flank was a pair of knights in their Leman Russ Executioners and the Knight Commander in his command Russ armed with a Battle Cannon. A small group of Scout Sentinels were on the far flank. Still finishing their tea and biscuits was a wing of Hellcat patterned Avenger Strike Fighters in Reserve.
Expecting a chivalrous battle from such an old race, they were sorely disappointed that the Eldar didn’t let them finish their home world’s anthem on their bugles before striking! The Wave Serpent raced forwards, slewing around and launching the full unit of Fire Dragons directly into the Leman Russ Squadron! Acrobatically, they rolled on impact and came up firing! While it looked cool, and despite their not-a-house-cat leader demonstrating the way it should be done, most of them missed (the rolls of Alex are legendary in the worse ways possible)! More rounds failed to penetrate the superior quality of low-tech adamantine plating, but one tank was slagged and another heavily damaged, its main weapon scorched and having to recharge its plasma line.
The Falcons did likewise, leaving a small unit Fire Dragons that wrecked the Scout Sentinels while their operators fussed with the ammo feeds. What dastardly foes do not let one get properly ready?! Their supporting fire resulted in a few guardsmen going down, but once again the anti armour weapons seemed to struggle (1’s, with the ability to reroll 1’s, and still getting 1’s is truly an art form mastered by only a few individuals).
The infantry moved up as well, chipping away at the guardsmen they could see.
Highly offended, the Praetorian officer ordered the highly offended bugle tune, followed by the order to return fire!
The confused blob of Fire Dragons were just standing right there. In the open. So the Tank Commander obliged them by dumping a Battle Cannon round right in the middle of them. Seeing the danger, some guy named Fuegan (or Pukin’, it was hard to understand them with their voice filters and fancy talk) and a Seer threw themselves in front of the shell. Only their energy shields were not turned on. Fuegan looked at his brand new abdomen piercing in surprise! The shell had simply passed through him. But, perhaps it was the big hat the Seer was wearing, it exploded on him. Blown to bits, he went out in a ball of flame with a few Fire Dragons (failed all 9 4+ Invulnerable saves, with the last 3 hitting the squad).
Seeing that his Plasma Execution Cannon was Disabled, the knight didn’t want to miss out on all the fun! Despite being risky, he fired it on full auto and took out another Fire Dragon! Sir Mulch-A-Lot was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth either. A high priority target just jumped out right in front of an entire firing line and had not been mulched before. Smashing through a wall section, it turned and fired all of its many machine guns into the crowd. Orange bits of armour went flying, hilarious Eldar death screams ensued, it was a great time. Once the barrels wound down for a mag change, the dust started to clear and there was a heck of a lot less of them remaining!
A squad of guardsmen stood at attention underneath a Heavy weapons Squad. The flamer poked his weapon out and scorched them. Combined with a brutal lasgun volley, Heavy Bolters, and well placed Frag, only Tubin’ and an injured Fire Dragon remained! The Wave Serpent bobbed gently on its heretical inferior hover tech in concern.
The Veterans on the right flank ran past the ruined Sentinels, charging into the 2nd story and began firing and throwing frag grenades in every direction! While they did not do much damage, their enthusiasm did lead to a fire dragon below them to say hello to his jewelry.
On the left flank, One Infantry squad moved up with the Ogryns while an underequipped Veteran Squad laid down some fire support. Once again, enthusiasm was used more than fire discipline, but it was jolly fun to be back in the thick of it.
The Eldar, reeling from the failed attempt to alpha strike the tanks, and then stop the tank round, worked rapidly to recover. Securing multiple Objectives as they moved up, the second group of Fire Dragons closed in on the remaining Russ Tank. They too must have brought faulty ammunition, but despite that they managed to wreck it as well. The heavily injured Poopin’ (after his rolls he deserved this name) or whatever the injured Fire Dragon called out moved up on the Tank Commander, but were only able to apply moderate damage to his steed! The Heavy Bolter suffered a bad case of melted barrel and had to undergo a quick barrel change.
The Falcons kept a safe distance from the Vulcan Macharius and its mulching barrels, firing at it from all angles. Despite having supposedly superior weaponry, most of the shots failed and had no secondary effects. Secondary shots worked to take down the guardsmen that were sprouting up like mushrooms after a warm spring rain. The Mon-Keigh may be inferior, but they were everywhere! The Wave Serpent joined in, trying to kill as many heavy weapon emplacements as it could while shielding Fuegan.
On the Praetorian’s left flank, Dire Avengers picked off guardsmen as they fell back, eager to get away from the Ogryn. A concentrated volley of angry shurikens did a surprising amount of damage and killed most of the lead squad (he rolled better than all 1s!).
Despite having lost a significant amount of expendable infantry, the bugles continued to signal orders to bring down the foe and to close and engage them! The Tank Commander dropped a shell on the Wave Serpent and some of the infantry moving up to reinforce the failed attack. He didn’t score a good hit on the Serpent, but he did send a few more Eldar pinwheeling. His Heavy Bolter tried but failed to finish off this Fewgin xeno.
The squad underneath the wall shifted fire and walked the las rounds to try and get the priority target, but suddenly his energy shield was working! Bouncing nearly every round, it looked like he was going to make it! A moment later, a plasma bolt from the Platoon Command Squad left just his smoking boots behind.
The Eldar tanks had spread all over the field at this point, causing lots of problems for coordinating fire. Bemused that the hoity toity aliens couldn’t form a proper battle line and like to prance around, Sir Mulch-A-Lot spun up his Vulcan Mega Bolters again and decided to become an omnivore. Hammering a spray of heavy machine gun and rotary cannon fire into the rear of the Wave Serpent, it was completely shredded on its weak point. Once again, their shields just didn’t seem to work today.
The three angels had finally finished their tea, biscuits, and got their Avenger’s into the air! Swooping onto the field, they came up behind the Falcon on the right flank, hamming their Avenger Bolt Cannons, Lascannons, and Missile Launchers into its rear. The stairs it was pressed up to seemed to be made of pretty stern stuff! (Alex made rolls above average!) Heavily crippled, it continued to operate.
Small arms fire removed the Seer and the last of the Fire Dragons sneaking around trying to get to the Tank Commander. The Seer in particular was brutally executed by firing squad, with his fancy shield once again not working (1 Wound left, took like 8 thanks to some good rolling on my part and bad on Alex’s).
The left flank was having more trouble. With only mortar support the Falcon was able to do whatever it wanted from the safety of the building it was nestled in. The Ogryn moved up to try and catch the slippery Eldar, but were unable to do more than shoot their loud Rippers in protest. Guardsmen moved up and put down some literal fire, taking out another Dire Avenger. There were only a handful now and they lacked any heavy attack power.
Despite their losses, the Eldar had grabbed significant command authority for Objectives (7-1 at this point I think!) The Falcon on the right was listing heavily but managed to get a round sunk into the Tank Commander. His tank groaned in protest but continued to operate.
The Falcon on the left failed yet again to penetrate the Macharius, even on its rear! The pilot using the hull weapon continued to be an ace shot however, killing more Ogryn. Combined with the few Eldar remaining, they slew all but one, leaving him heavily injured and enraged!
Storm Guardians shot up the building the Veterans on the right were hiding in and then charged, slaughtering them all! Occupying the building, the few that remained hunkered in for a final stand.
Striking Scorpions and their not-house-cat appeared suddenly on the left flank! Racing out of their hidey holes, the entered the fight and shot up the underequipped Veteran Squad. Only the sergeant and a bugler survived the ambush!
The Avengers buzzed overhead, setting their sights on the Falcon and Striking Scorpions. They raked the infantry with their Avenger Bolt Cannons, striking the Falcon as they pulled up! They were both embedded firmly in defensive positions, and only a few perished. The tank got battered but mostly survived the strafing run.
Sir Mulch-A-Lot had been feeling sad. There were no big units of infantry to kill and none of the other tanks wanted to cooperate with their armour facings. It didn’t help that they were nearly as fast as aircraft while it was very slow. But the Striking Scorpion’s arrival perked it up nicely. Revving its engines to full, it barreled towards them, blazing away with its automatic weapons! Once again, their cover was excellent (Alex’s rolls finally got pretty good by this point, he just didn’t have a lot left). Quite a few were still gunned down by the barrage of rounds shredding the universe around them!
The Tank Commander limped his tank in reverse and fired his cannon at the crippled Falcon, but the round bounced off the shield! Sporadic small arms fire bounced off the tank as well with no effect!
The last Ogryn charged the Falcon! After beating it futilely with his fist, the pilot turned on the afterburners for a second. A very charred Ogryn outline blew away as ashes in the wind.
In turn, the Falcon floated overhead and shot the Tank Commander in the back again. His aim was foiled by a passing bird, but still got another solid strike, damaging the engine!
The Striking Scorpions snaked their way through the unit remains and shot up a guard squad before charging and killing the mortar team. After stealing control of the fuel barrel, they tried to say something about “stupid Mon-Keigh”, but it was hard to hear them over the dead and dying.
The left Falcon, in an attempt to save the Striking Scorpions and their precious Pheonix Lord, lifted off and glided in behind the Macharius at close range, firing into its rear arc. For the fourth time, the main lance failed, but it got two solid penetrations with the Pulsar! No secondary damage was done, but the titanic tank was at about 50% structural integrity now and showing a bit worse for wear.
The right Falcon once again moved behind the Tank Commander but was thwarted by the durability of the castle wall!
The Macharius Vulcan rolled backwards, placing its barrels about 2 meters from the Falcon’s rear and obliterated it in a shower of sparks, casings, and internal explosions!
The Avengers banked overhead and leveled off at a house in the back line holding a few Eldar refugees. Three superior ground attack aircraft didn’t leave any survivors.
The Tank Commander finally got his shot in! Blasting the Falcon into oblivion, it detonated above the catwalk it was hovering over.
The last of the Eldar sheltered in place in the tower, cursing the aircraft slowly bearing down on them! A few sheltered by the abandoned vehicle, and the Pheonix Lord dragged himself behind the fuel barrel for safety.
The Avengers banked again and split their fire, slaying the Eldar in the Tower and behind the vehicle! The Tank Commander, the half-slain Platoon Command Squad, and the Macharius focused fire on Karandras, but through some insane luck he lived!
The match ended 9-5, a Moderate Victory for Eldar!
We like to get a Codex mechanically sound and balanced before putting it out there. We like to circle back and add a layer of lore flavour to them later, only once we know for sure the balance maintained its reputation once released to the public. This was our “reacquaint ourselves” test to get in touch with the current Codex before adding flavour and the new units and kits that just got added recently. We will be testing changes soon!
Alternate 40k Rules 